There’s an old proverb that says, “Blessed is he who plants trees under whose shade he will never sit.” For Scott Galloway — Professor of Marketing at NYU Stern School of Business, author, and host of the “Prof G” and “Pivot” podcasts — this proverb perfectly applies to the important work of the men who mentor teenage boys. Unfortunately (and unfairly), mentoring has gotten a bad rap, and Galloway isn’t afraid to put it bluntly: “The Catholic Church and Michael Jackson have f*cked it up for all of us.”
92.5K
Mayim Bialik – Big Bang Theory Trivia TestReport ad
Galloway, if you haven’t been paying attention, is among the most prominent voices warning us that young men in America are struggling right now — from increased suicide rates and an epidemic of loneliness to a failure to launch. “There are few demographic groups in the past 100 years who have fallen further, faster than young men,” he says.RELATED STORYI Thought I Was Prepared To Raise Teens — But It Comes With a Lot of Surprises
Part of the fix is reassessing what we mean by (and how we talk about) “masculinity” today. This was the topic at the SHE Media Co-Lab at SXSW, where Galloway spoke with journalist and author Liz Plank about redefining gender roles — and it’s the jumping-off point for a new editorial series that SheKnows is launching called Be a Man.
You May Like
Switch and enjoy savings of up to $155!Grab this limited time offer with Geneco for the lowest elecricity rate in town! Enjoy massive savings of up to $155 rebates and voucher!Geneco SGLearn More
True masculinity, in Galloway’s opinion, comes from the ability to take care of yourself — and in turn, take care of others, such as your family and your parents — but then take it a step further and extend that protective umbrella to mentoring young boys who need it. It’s not weird or unnatural, and the viewpoint that it is means we’re failing our boys. To step in and offer them the male guidance that could make a substantial difference in their lives is a noble calling; one that more men should consider stepping up to.
“The real expression of masculinity, and starting to solve the problem,” Galloway says, “is to say, ‘I am so strong. I have done such a good job taking care of myself, taking care of my family … now I’m going to get involved in the lives of other young men.”
“There’s a reflex gag notion when you suggest that a man get involved in a young boy’s life,” he continues, pointing out the all-too-common misconception that if you’re a 35-year-old man who wants to be involved in a 15-year-old boy’s life, something must be inherently wrong. Quoting the film Magnolia when a character says, “I have love to give, I just don’t know where to put it,” Galloway expanded on that thought.Report adRELATED STORYI Thought I Was Prepared To Raise Teens — But It Comes With a Lot of Surprises
“There are a ton of men who, for whatever reason, have a lot of love to give — in a paternal way — who don’t have many outlets for it,” he says. “Or a fraternal way. And society is telling them that it’s ‘weird,’ and we should be suspect of them if they want to get involved in a young man’s life.”
But society has it all wrong.
During an appearance on Steven Bartlett’s The Diary of a CEO podcast, Galloway highlighted the crux of the problem: our hesitance to raise red flags surrounding the very real issues affecting men. “We’ve decided when it comes to men, compassion is a zero-sum game. And if you feel bad for men, it immediately kind of ‘outs’ you as someone who might be anti-women.” This, he says — in addition to the lack of mentors and role models for boys — is a dangerous recipe for the rise of men like Andrew Tate, a highly-problematic social media figure known for his misogynistic views. Figures like Tate, Galloway argues, are a symptom of this problem.Report ad
“The majority of what Andrew Tate says is probably positive — it starts from a really good place: take accountability for your actions, be in great shape, be action-oriented,” he says. “But then it comes off the rails … one of the ways you take accountability or take action is to start treating women as property.” The fact that it starts off in a positive manner that most people could agree with is the most dangerous aspect, Galloway asserts. “You can imagine a young man just agreeing with most of it, and so then they adopt the last 10 or 20%, which quite frankly is really ugly,” he says. “It’s just misogyny.”
It isn’t a lack of education, or media influence, or any social movements that cause a young man to fail in Galloway’s opinion — it’s that loss of strong, compassionate male role models (and the void it creates, which is subsequently filled with voices like Andrew Tate’s). Galloway points to statistics showing that the U.S. has more single-parent households than any other country except Sweden. Teachers, up until the third grade, are 92 percent female. The majority of therapists are women.
As a result, he says, “there are a ton of boys who will go through pretty much their entire adolescence with almost no involvement from men. So we need to get men more involved in boys’ lives.”
